oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
