Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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