Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
