haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
