Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
