it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
