Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
