i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
