drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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