Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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