I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
