the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's never too late to be topless.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
