we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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