That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
