Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
