My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
