i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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