I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
