Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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