took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think my nap took me to another dimension
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
