i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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