walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
