just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
