I love black thongs
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Small penises have feelings too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
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