So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
