he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
