Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
