his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
