i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
