a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
