Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Four minutes until I can fart!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
