Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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