sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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