Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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