I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
