shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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