Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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