people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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