She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
