Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
