Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
