I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
