i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
