I'm gonna have a badass scar
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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