Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it because I queefed?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
vagina is talking i cant
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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