I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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