i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
