yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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