dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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