You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we made out on top of his cat.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
