just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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